The Edge-Man is so busy punching, kicking, strangling, stabbing, hacking and killing Goblins, Zombies and Merfolk he has almost no time for a personal life, let alone a love life. Being the healty man the Edge-Man is, he does have needs. But dispite his barbaric looks he is a very modern man. He can’t just take any lover he desires. “Cosent boys, you gotta have conset!” So the Edge-Man tries his luck on The Dating Game, a famous Old School dating tv-show. The show invites a bachelor to choose between three eligible (and unseen by them) singles, based soley on their answers to a series producer-written, innuendo-laden questions. Who can handle all the love the Edge-Man has to offer? Who will he choose? Let’s find out!
Meet contestant number 1:
This lovely Benalish Hero is a fierce and highly skilled amazonian warrior at the peak of human condition whose prowess with a pointy sword are virtually unmatched. Having taken a vow of chastity she will never lie with a man who could not defeat her in battle. Does the Edge-Man have what it takes?
Contestant number 2:
Having spend years hardening molten steel in the hot and steamy forges of Umezawa, this oriental beauty will make sure your sun always rises. When she isn’t busy hammering it out, she loves trimming her (bonzai) bush, poetry and taking walks in the park. Will she melt the heart of The Edge?
Our final lady, contestant number 3:
Some like it hot! This sister of the flame is tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. She want’s the real McCoy, a streetwise Hercules who is sweet but hard as a rock! A knight upon a fiery steed. Strength, courage, independence, leadership, and assertiveness. Masculinity with a capital M. This hot sister is holding out for a hero!
Take me out!
After multiple rounds of innuendo-laden questions things really got heated. The Edge-Man told the producers of the show he felt like ‘that sad little lady from Sophie’s choice’ (?) and refused to choose between the contestants, stating there was more then enough Edge-Man to go around! So, after an all exspensive paid date and 22 hours of hot steamy love making with all three contestants the Edge-Man came to the conclusion that only the Edge-Man can love the Edge-Man as the Edge-Man needs to be loved (out of narcissism). The only thing that can satisfy the Edge-man is the man in the mirror.
DISCLAIMER:
The Edge-Man wants to make clear that this blog-post is nothing more then a silly, dude-bro, wry, spikily, satirical take on the over-the-top testostarone filled American TV-shows of the mid-80’s. A period in time most of the Old School community remember from their childhood.
The Edge-Man 
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